It’s so tempting to get advice from the people you love. If your significant other, best friend, or family member has a lot of life experience, it would be foolish not to trust them with things like their opinion about what you should do for work, whether you should try for another baby, and how to handle your marriage. 

However, sometimes the advice is not what we want to hear. Whether it’s from a loved one or someone else who doesn’t know you well enough yet, there are signs that tell us when our loved ones are giving us bad advice. Here are five ways to identify when you’re getting terrible advice and why it might be coming from someone you care about.

Why might it be coming from someone you love?

• It’s often easy to give bad advice because we’re afraid. 
• We might be afraid of what our loved ones will think of us or of the consequences that we’ll face, so it’s hard for them to have the confidence in their own advice. 
• They might get defensive or angry if you don’t take their advice, which can cause them to give even worse advice in order to make themselves feel better.
• It’s not like they want to hurt you intentionally, but sometimes a person doesn’t recognize when they’re doing it.

What signs tell you your advice-giver is giving bad advice?

1.Your Feel Pressured:

• You feel pressured to agree with them. If you feel like you have to reassure a loved one that they’re right and you don’t have to change your mind, this is probably an example of bad advice-giving. 
• It’s not that the person is wrong, but rather that they’re not following their own heart or doing what they want to do.

2. Not Listening your Perspective 

• The advice-giver doesn’t seem to be listening to your perspective. When someone gives you advice, it’s important for them to take in your thoughts and feelings in order not to invalidate your opinions and feelings when giving their opinion or recommendation. 
• If a loved one seems dismissive of your thoughts or feelings, then they aren’t really listening and may be giving bad advice because of it.

3. Unwanted criticism

• The advice-giver offers unsolicited and unwanted criticism instead of support for what you’re going through. 
• Sometimes we just need someone who will listen without judgement, offer support and encouragement, tell us that it will all work out even if things aren’t going well (and then leave us alone so we can figure things out), or maybe just share a laugh with us about something silly at the moment (funny enough). 
• If a loved one does none of these things but still wants you to follow their advice, this could be an indication that their intentions are not pure and they might be trying to control the situation instead of being supportive. 

4. The advice is only about the person giving it and not about you

• This is a sign that the person giving the advice does not know you well enough. 
• Remember, people who care about you will want to make sure they are giving you good advice for your life, but if it’s just about what they think is best for them, then it’s probably not good advice and you should take it with a grain of salt.

5. The advice seems too extreme

• If there’s one thing people hate doing more than anything else, it’s being told how to live their lives and making decisions for themselves. 
• So when someone makes an extreme suggestion like quitting your job or moving across the country, be cautious because this isn’t likely to be helpful.

6. The advice pushes you toward something that doesn’t fit your personality 

• If someone has a tendency to push or coerce others into things they don’t want to do or away from what they love doing, that person might also be pushing you away as well. 
• Decide whether this is healthy for you before following their lead blindly and make sure that their opinion of what’s best for them doesn’t negatively impact your personality type and relationships with people around you.

7. The advice is based on fear rather than facts 

• A lot of people have a fear of missing out (FOMO) which creates bad decision-making habits in us all that can be detrimental to our happiness and well-being later on in your life.

8. Leave them with Dignity:

• Dignity and self respect is the key element in any relation even, its with your family friend or with your lover. If the other person is not trying to understand your prospective and do not want to listen to you then its better to leave that un healthy relation with full grace and dignity. Such kind of persons do not deserve you. I am writing this right away but this is the fact. If you don’t leave them one day remember me, they will emotional let you down and forget you as you never had any relation with them. So, remember grace and dignity is the key ingredient to live a beautiful life.

What should you do if you find out your loved one is giving you bad advice? 

• If you find out that your loved one is giving you bad advice, it’s important to be assertive. 
• Don’t take it personally. Instead of trying to change their mind or arguing with them, try to listen and get the real story. 
• If they’re not willing to talk about what’s going on in their life, then you have no chance at helping them.
• Other options are to stop talking altogether or end the relationship if it’s a romantic one. 
• You deserve someone who will give you good advice, not bad advice. 
• If you can’t trust the person giving you advice about your work-related decisions and personal relationships, then that person does not need to be in your life.

Takeaways:

• It’s a relief to know that there are other people out there who have gone through the same experiences. 
• Even though it was hard to hear, it was still helpful to hear that you’re not alone.
• The best part to carry on with your decision is always try to listen to your heart and mind before making any decision. Because you are the only one that has full command of your life do not give the pen of your life to someone else to write your story.

Thank you for connecting with my trendy soul.com, we wish you a healthy and happy and prosperous life ahead.