How to Support Someone With Anxiety or Depression: 6 Tips for Helping a Loved One.

When someone you love suffers from anxiety, depression, or another mental health condition, it can feel like a burden. But there are plenty of things you can do to help that person feel less burdened–and in some cases, it might even be the best thing to do for them. 

Here are some tips on how to support someone with an anxiety or depression diagnosis:

  • Try not to make assumptions. It’s easy to jump to conclusions and imagine what they’re thinking when they don’t tell you what’s going on. Instead, ask them how they’re feeling and get their perspective. If you’re unsure about how much information is too much or too little, talk with your loved one about what’s right for them–not for you.
  • Understand that your friend or family member might not want to share their experiences with others yet — at least not publicly. They’ll want time and space while they heal before they start talking to people who know them well.
What does it mean if someone says they have anxiety or depression?

Having anxiety or depression doesn’t mean that you’re weak, nor does it mean that you’re a bad person. It’s important to understand what the condition is and its symptoms so that you have a better understanding of how to help.

  • Anxiety is a feeling of worry, fear, or unease about future events that can cause physical reactions like rapid heartbeat, sweating, nausea, or trembling.
  • Depression is an intense feeling of sadness and hopelessness. It can also include feeling irritable and worthless. 
  • If someone says they have anxiety or depression (or something similar), it might not be in their best interest for them to stop taking medication for their condition–which makes sense because medication often helps people with these diagnoses feel better and function more effectively in society. 
  • The good news is that there are steps you can take to support those living with these conditions–whether your loved one wants to talk with you about it, or not!
Tips for Supporting Someone With Anxiety or Depression
  • Learn more about their diagnosis. Knowing the basics of it, like what they’re most likely feeling and how they’re likely to act, will help you understand them better and make your support easier. 
  • Keep the lines of communication open. Talking to someone with anxiety or depression regularly can be a positive thing for them; it’s not always easy for them to talk about their feelings. And if you live in different parts of the country, being able to speak on the phone from time to time is also helpful.
  • Make sure your loved one has as much control over their care as possible–even if that means telling you when they don’t want to talk anymore. There’s nothing wrong with letting your loved one take back control over their care and limit the amount of support you give them, especially if that person feels like you’re overstepping boundaries. 
  • Understand that everyone heals at a different pace and that is okay–even if it doesn’t seem like it at first. Think of it this way: “If it takes longer than we expected, maybe there was something else going on.” 
  • Be patient–there are no shortcuts in mental health recovery, even if they seem like they might be making progress, which can happen quickly at times!
Why do people with anxiety and depression struggle with intimacy?
  • People with anxiety or depression often struggle with intimacy because they don’t feel like they can trust their partner. This is why it’s so important to make sure you’re being respectful and communicating effectively.
  • Be patient with them–they might be vulnerable and have a lot of feelings that come up when talking about the things that are troubling them. Acknowledge these feelings by saying something like “I know this is hard for you.”
  • Let your loved one talk openly about how they’re feeling. Try not to interrupt or try to take control of the conversation, but let them know you’ll be there for them as long as they need.
  • Don’t give up on them. They might struggle at first, but if you stick around, they will get better (and maybe even start doing some of the things that used to make them anxious).
Tips For Supporting Someone Who Has Anxiety or Depression 
  • Avoid making jokes or sarcastic comments about the diagnosis. When someone is struggling with anxiety, it’s easy for them to feel criticized and judged. 
  • Don’t assume that people who have a mental health condition are always depressed. Anxiety and depression can be accompanied by other symptoms, like insomnia, panic attacks, and hyperactivity. 
  • Don’t assume that all people with a mental health condition need medication. Some people might benefit from medication, but others might not. Your loved one might have an alternative treatment that’s working for them right now–or they might decide to try a different method later on in the process. 
  • Be patient –it takes time for someone to recover from anxiety or depression. The recovery process can happen all at once or in stages over time, so just be there while they’re going through it all. 
  • Don’t criticize your loved one for behavior if they act strangely as they recover from their diagnosis. This includes things like skipping work or staying home instead of going out with friends when you know they want to do those things more than anything else in the world. They may be feeling overwhelmed and don’t know what to do about it yet–so give them some space and let them figure it out without judgement.
  • Take the time to listen. Listen without judgment and offer support without taking control of your loved one’s life. Make sure you’re listening to them and not just waiting for your turn to talk.
  • Share your own experiences with anxiety, depression, or other mental health conditions. Sharing stories helps people feel less alone and helps them understand that they aren’t going through it alone.
  • You don’t have to fix it–but you can help make it better by being there for them. Be a friend when they need someone, be their voice when they can’t speak out loud, and take care of themselves while they do the same for you.
  • If your friend or loved one has depression, anxiety, or another mental health condition and is struggling to talk about their feelings, here are a few tips for reaching out:
  • Pick up the phone and have a conversation. Your loved one might not be able to open up in person. By talking on the phone, you may help them feel less overwhelmed by opening up more.
  • Be careful not to overstep your boundaries–if they don’t want to talk about their feelings with you, that’s their decision. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you–it just means that they’re trying to process what happened on their own first. You understand and support them no matter what. 
  • Let your friend or family member know that you care–and let them know how much you care. When someone is struggling with an illness like depression or anxiety, it can be easy for people close to them to take their struggles personally and assume the person doesn’t care about them anymore. It’s important that friends or family members remember that the person with the illness still cares deeply about them and will do anything they can to get better–even if they’re having a hard time finding those words themselves sometimes.
Takeaways

It can be difficult to know how to help someone with anxiety or depression. These tips can help guide you on the path to supporting your loved one in ways that are helpful.

Your loved one with anxiety or depression may be experiencing symptoms of their condition in the form of sadness, anxiety, fatigue, irritability, anger, and/or difficulty concentrating. If they are not able to share their thoughts and feelings, this can make it difficult to offer support.

Be compassionate and understanding while offering support. Even if they don’t open up, being there for them is the best way you can help ease the burden of their condition.

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